today was rather fucked... why?... because first of all... the one that i loved CHEATED on me since the last 28th... and he's calling me a flirt? and practically all his friends (im not going to name, names) think im a flirt... let's get one thing straight fuckers, IM NOT A FLIRT!! i dont know HOW to effin flirt! all i do is talk to people and be friendly... if they think talking to people is "flirting" i shan't talk! happy?! anyway... yeah he got a new gf and only told me today... when she went to our school... he told me not to cry, but i ended up in the girls bathroom crying all over and never got to eat my lunch, and on top of that, i threw up (again) im still under medication, so yeah, i hate the fact that she has my world now, i just hope she will get to feel the things i felt when he was mine back then, i want her to feel the things i never got the chance to feel... no, we weren't "on" but we were in love... and since that last 28th, which was by the way, our 3rd ever monthsary, they were together! he kept this from me ever since! and honestly, yeah it does hurt. but you know what hurts more? is the fact that he blamed me for cheating on him with another guy too, which wasn't true! but there is always a bright side, wait... did i say always? ha! not always... gosh, i dont know what to do... he was my whole world and i did care for him so much, if he only understood... but i guess now is too late... really too late... i loved him, and i tried my best to make him feel my love, even though our fucking school has a 6-inch rule... now this new girl gets to give him love and feel his love in return... *sigh*

when is my turn? it funny really, the last time i broke things off with my "ex", i said i never want to have to fall in love just to get hurt always in the end... then he came bursting into my life and everything changed, i forgot what i had said, and i found myself falling for him... and turns out he did too... he promised me that he will never hurt me, oh, same old line, i guess he was bluffing that time, cos he did hurt me, not once, twice.... but three times, i should have known that when people do say they won't hurt you, they probably will at the end, no matter how many promises they make, somehow, someway, you will eventually get hurt... that's what i think, and i want somebody to prove me wrong... so yeah, i wonder what will happen if i say the same thing over again? "i don't wanna fall in love just to get hurt always in the end" will something happen? we'll see...


gotta go... take care all you guys! <3