so ok... today went i think... great... yeah it did! for once? things almost went my way... omfg! he gave me a bracelet!! aww it was like so sweet of him! gee, i hope he's not reading this haha! hmm, despite the fact that i see the one i used to love like everyday... i don't know, it's like i couldn't look at him and not be hurt by him... you get me? damn, he gave me so much pain and whenever i look at him... it's like i get hurt again... yeah so what if i still look at him? anyway... somethings wrong with this one person in this other class... it's like all of a sudden, this person totally ignores me! like wtf?! this person ignores all my text messages, does not say hi to me anymore, and whenever i do try and talk to that person, ask him why that person is ignoring me, it's like the person doesn't want to talk to me! like no interest whatsoever to talk to me! grrr... i don't know what happened, but im thinking that someone told that person something bad or wrong bout me that made that person ignore me... hmmm well anyway... im bored...


remember what i said at the last post? that we shall wait and see what will happen if i said i didn't want to fall in love just to get hurt always in the end thing? well... i think i am now... but i swear im not doing that on purpose... no... i don't know why... but yeah... im falling for this guy at school, well, he's my best friend actually, so yeah... im really crazy about him! he doesn't know how much he's got it bad! but my problem is... i don't think were at the same level, i mean he did say he likes me, but that's it... im falling for him and all he could say was that "i like you" blah blah blah.... he said, too, that he does want me to be his (i think thats what he said) but... just not now? yeah something like that... i don't know how long i'll be able to keep up with the things im doing! sometimes i just hate myself... i did tell him that i'll wait for that time when he will fall for me... now the question that boggles my mind is... how long shall i wait? even if it does take that long, it's worth the wait for me, because i'd rather let myself wait, than give him up... cos truly, he is important to me, REALLY important... and if i told him that like everyday? it just probably wouldn't be enough... i mean, everytime, well not really everytime, but most of the time he looks at me, i turn away cos i don't want him to know what his gaze does to me. everytime i see him, gosh, i can't explain how happy i am, i get butterflies in my stomach, and omg, i even catch myself smiling just because his NAME just happen to cross my mind! call me crazy, call me pathetic, anything! i just can't help it! he's got me going crazy! urrrgh! if only he'd see things the way i see things... *sigh*