i was pretty much alone today. kheem arrived safely in the states, and thus begins the rest of the week, and the next, without her. i know what you're thinking, "where are your other friends??" well, yes, i do have (other) friends, but none quite the same as kheem of course... you see it's just the two of us that normally hangs out, well fine, sometimes 3, maybe 4, but most of the time it's just the two of us. it's not like i haven't been trying to have fun, and it's not like im being lonely on purpose, or ignoring people-no, i have been having fun, but not as much as i do when kheem is around, and like i said, it's not the same:( all i could do was... nothing, i just had to accept that fact that she's happy wherever she is in the states, and well, im just lonely in school. he wasn't with me either... where was he?? grrr... he was with her instead, he didn't even bother to follow me after i left... guess i wasn't important (to him) today as she was to him... i just sat there in the spot where kheem and me almost always hang out, hoping that he'd come around to be with me, but no, i just found myself sitting there alone, for another oh so, 15 minutes? yes, sitting there watching happy people pass me by, groups of friends laughing, things kheem and me would do, but i can't do it by myself now can i? cos i'd look extremely weird laughing by myself or talking to myself... hmm come to think of it, we mostly get compared to a lot, because like people in school always see us hanging out together, just us two, but the others, they hang out in groups, so we kinda stand out? blah... i have nothing more to say... and NO im not mad...

hello. . . wtf? so ok. . . yesterday, my best friend, aka, kheem, left for the States, it was so sad to see her go, the last message i got was when she was boarding, i wish i kept it, but this is what i remembered: "boarding na='( waaa! im going to miss you sobra! work hard sa studies mo ha?? sana mag honor roll ka. mwah take care." then i replied as fast as i could, hoping she'd receive my message before it was too late, and i said "='( im going to miss you too sobra! i'll try and make it to the honor roll, for you. . . ok, ingat, enojoy your vacation. . . luvyew bff=] i'll always be with you, through the rex cd's" i started to cry then, and before i knew it, it was pouring hard! then i instantly prayed to God to giude their flight, and make it to the other side ok. . . i miss her. . . if only she knew. . . im gonna be lonely for the rest of the week w/o her, although i have pen, padua, and uh maybe chris. . . it won't be the same. . . speaking of pen. . . i changed my mind, i mean about waiting, i will still, but im not gonna hurt while doing so, it's easy now that i've thought about it, im not gonna let a few more years get in the way. . . if i have to wait i will and i shall. . . and. . . im not going to complain. . . yeah, ive been complaining. . . but now i won't, i love him and will wait. . . just to make that clear hehe. . . evryone'e leaving. . . well not now. . . probably soon. . . why?? it just sad, the ones i love will leave me and go elsewhere, just leave me behind. . . pen will leave me soon. . . when he goes away for college in the. . . states. . . i hate it, and i have to live with it. . . the sad truth, i cried on my bed when he told me through text. . . he's gonna leave me behind, i won't be able to see him again, that's what i thought on my bed. . . dear Lord why?? well, he said that he'd come back every year. . . but it's not enough! waaah='( he also said he needs to think about his future and that he cares about it, and well, maybe i should let him go for those few years in the states, and if i do end up going to college here, i won't let ANY man in my life, cos i wanna be with pen, and only him, and if i go there in the states for college, were gonna get an apartment and live together! God that would be sweet, aww he could take care of me, and vice versa. . . i WISH that would happen, then i wouldn't have to worry if he's gonna fall for another girl, that's scary. . .



>>> pen, just so you know,which you already do, i love you, i always will.<3