i just wanted to make this cos i was really fucking bored:) this has no connection with anyone whatsoever... maybe it can be, but some parts only ^_^ if you think it's too long and that you are lazy to read this, then don't, but for those people who love to read what i put here, enjoy.


you think you know me. but do you really? even if you spend loads of time with me, chances are, you don't. you don't know what's really running through my mind when you talk to me or what i do when i'm home alone. maybe im thinking about being in your arms. maybe i'm wishing we were never friends. you don't know the millions of emotions you could be causing me. i could be in love with you, in lust with you, or hating your guts at this very moment. i might have problems of my own; maybe i'm breaking down inside while you waste your time trying to make your problems my own. maybe they are my own, because maybe i really don't have any life other than what you see. you can call me slow, but you will never know what is really going on inside my head. my mind could be so complicated and full of life that i simply don't have time to process what you are saying. really, i'm a smart girl; you just can't see that. maybe even smarter than you'll ever be. or maybe i actually am stupid; and it will take me twice as much work to get somewhere that you could be with little or no effort. but who would it be more worthwhile for? i appear to be happy go lucky most of the time, but what if i'm not? what if deep down, i worry? maybe i have more feelings than you would know what to do with if you were in my shoes; more emotions than just love and happiness. or maybe they're all i'm capable of. i might be wishing at this very moment that i were someone else, someone more beautiful and fun, just to get your attention. or maybe i'm truly happy with who i am and i just want you to see me differently? i don't necessarily like the way you judge me; no matter what you've heard, you don't know if i'm a bitch or not til we've really met and talked. i promise i'm a nice person. or maybe the rumors are true; that i'm full of shit and it flies out of my mouth nonstop. you don't know that yet. honestly, if you push me, i can be the biggest bitch you will ever meet. maybe it's because i think i'm too good for you. or maybe it's because i know i'm not and i want to prevent you from putting me down, because i'm so vulnerable to it. deep down i'm really insecure. i know who i am, yes, but i don't want you to find out. or maybe i'm in love with myself and i don't care if you are or not. but are you? ask yourself that before you make me think so; i just might want you to be a part of my life. i hope that's not too much to ask; i hope i'm good enough for you. or i could be thinking that i am too good for you. and just so you know, i might push you away for my own good- i want to see if you love me enough to come back, and i will especially do this when i need you the most. because maybe i've been hurt before, and i put walls up just to see if you will break them down. you think you'd be there for me. but when i need you the most, you might not know it, but a good friend would. if you're not up to that, don't try to become a part of my life. you just might hurt me. do you even know what it takes to make my day? maybe i'm the kind of girl where a genuine "I Love You," a long hug, or a sincere compliment will do the trick. other times it will take more- all of the affection you have to give me. i hope i'm worth it to you; because i need that from you, know that i'd be yours in a second. do you know that i'd do anything for you? would i? maybe i'm hard to read; acting like i love you doesn't necessarily mean i do. but if you take time to figure that out, most likely, you're one of the few i take strongly. and don't you know it, when i really like someone, i get attached to them very easily. maybe you're one of the people i need the most. i might think about you nonstop, or losing you could be my biggest fear. you might not realize how i only light up when i'm around you, the look in my eyes when you talk to me, or the way i collapse into you when you give me a hug. i could be waiting for a phone call, or an IM from you constantly, or a sincere "I Love You". but maybe i hope we grow apart- regardless of how much fun we have had together, i need to move on from you. because maybe you cause me constant pain that the bad times outweigh the good ones. maybe i'm afraid to approach you, despite all the fun we have together when you finally talk to me. you can choose to love me, hate me, despise the very thought of me, whatever. i wish i could say that i don't care, but for some people, i do. especially you. the truth is, all other things aside, i'm longing to be yours forever or at least mean something to you right now and you don't see it. no matter what happens, who i grow up to be, or what you end up doing is completely irrelevant- our past has made me so emotionally attached to you that the thought of living without you is impossible to bear. and honestly, that's all you need to know.

how could you forget to say those three simple words to me? did you do it on purpose? why? something i should know about? tell me then. and to think all you could say was "oops"?? ouch. do you know how painful that is? to not hear those words after i said it... maybe it's me... i got so hurt i cried, no, i sobbed. whot's going on? i froze on my bed, thinking. did he forget to say "i love you" that easily? that fast? im just super confused right now. :'(

i knew it... he likes her, and she likes him... again! why else would they keep on seeing each other? i hate it. stealer.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then, Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you." Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing by in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you," Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm so sorry, but I just need to be alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then she heard a voice say, "Come, Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding just how great love is."