i cried today. no one knew why. i was being pressured and the only way i could get it out of me was to cry. and on top of that i had a problem and stephen couldn't be serious for one minute. he was being insensitive to how i feel now. i tell him my prob and all he does is laugh about it. i don't think that's funny... don't you? sure, i guess he's trying to cheer me up, make me feel better and all, but i just wanted him to listen to me without having to laugh. does he think my problems are funny? could be. i don't laugh at his problems so why does he laugh at me?
i ate lunch somewhere today. no one knows where. i didn't even feel like conversing with anyone. i wanted to talk to stephen, but i changed my mind. i just want him to take all my problems away for just a moment so i'd be free of all problems... but no, he might laugh, therefore i am forced to talk about it to my probs to my friends, but they might not understand. so i just keep it to myself and figure it out on my own. don't tell me i didn't try though. when i'm with stephen, he seems to take my worries and problems away even though he couldn't take them away for good, but for that one moment, i feel that he could. i wanna feel that way again whenever i tell him my problems, but now he just laughs and i feel worse than before... i wish he's understand... or at least try to...
<3
Monday, June 26, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
| Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover |
 Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover. |
oh my *blushes* coolness!!=) i'm a fantasy lover *drool* bwehe
Saturday, June 24, 2006
so many people are complaining why i'm not blogging.... well, it's late, and so i'm gonna blog, for the sake of others asking me to blog... oh and sorry for not blogging as often:(
(fyi: this does not concern anyone ok? it's just a post. ty)
To love and be loved; it is said to be one of the greatest things you will ever encounter in life. i cannot even begin to fathom the amount of emotion that goes into it, whether it be pain or happiness. after watching so many romantic movies, and reading so many books and teenage magazines, i can't help but wonder if i have begun to get the wrong idea of what being in love is like. the knight in shining armor who saves the wounded young girl, or the young boy and girl who are so in love and yet have to fight so hard in order to be with each other because outside forces try to pry them apart. and yet in the end, everyone lives happily ever after. but in reality, when does this happen? i know of no one who's ever had a love life like this. yet in my heart i still believe that if you believe it's true, then it could happen. after all, these stories and feelings and emotions just don't come out of no where, they come from somewhere deep inside of you, a place so vulnerable that you know it's real.
i'm not sure if i put too much thought into it, but i have so many things going through my head that maybe it would be better for myself and those who might come to read this, that i just type them. as said before, i don't believe i’ve ever been in love, after all, if you have to question it, then how is that real? but i can tell you that i’ve experienced heartbreak. being so infatuated with someone and making yourself so vulnerable to them, giving them everything you have, hoping to God that they catch you, and in the end, they don't. and you fall harder than you've ever fell before. and your heart breaks. to those who've never had their heart broken, i must say, are very lucky. and although they may think the thought of "your heart actually breaking" is absurd, it's true. the gut wrenching feeling you get, and you don't know whether to cry or scream. and you can't help but wonder how someone could unintentionally hurt you so bad.
you hurt, and you don't stop hurting. you go through stages of being upset and infuriated, you think of ways to get back at them but when it boils down to it, you can't tell someone else how to feel, like all of the romance novels and books say, your heart decides who it wants. and it just so happens that although your heart chose them, theirs didn't feel the same way. you listen to songs of heartbreak and watch movies, or try and find someone to fill the place in your heart that was so unwillingly ripped out. but nobody, or anything, can put back together that broken heart except you. you may find someone to help fill it for a while, but what is it they’re doing? trying to put back those pieces? and what happens if that person leaves?
when one's heart is broken, they need to repair it themselves. of course you still think about him, and you'll still get that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see him. the one that before the heartbreak made you light up inside and now makes you sick to your stomach, but you still in some strange way love it. no guy since him has been able to give you that feeling, but that's okay. after getting it, you don't want to settle for anything less. you turn away other options because of him; he sets standards for everyone after. you know that what he did, he didn't do intentionally. you know that he felt strongly about you, because you felt it. but something was in the way, some freak cosmic force got in the way of something that could have been great. and unlike the romance movies, it stopped you from being together. maybe it just wasn't the right time, maybe there never will be a right time. but they did teach you something, they taught you to not give yourself away so easily, maybe not in a sexual way, but in an emotional way.
i strongly believe that anybody who comes into a person’s life is there for a purpose. there for the heartbreak that he caused you is in whatever way, for a purpose. even if you don't want him in the way that you did before, he still has some part of you, and as much as you wouldn’t want to admit it, he probably always will. you gave him something that he couldn't give back even if he wanted to, because you give it away once, and only once, and you can't get it back. whether he wanted it or not, your heart chose him. for whatever reason, it did. you gave him everything you had, giving him the option to make or break you. and he broke you. after awhile you repaired yourself. maybe not fully, but it's been put back together with some pretty strong glue. except this time you put iron bars around it, with a double lock key, so the next time some knight in shining armor try's to unlock to your heart, he's going to have to fight for it.
there we go... and jose? it's not anymore one whole big paragraph=P
(fyi: this does not concern anyone ok? it's just a post. ty)
To love and be loved; it is said to be one of the greatest things you will ever encounter in life. i cannot even begin to fathom the amount of emotion that goes into it, whether it be pain or happiness. after watching so many romantic movies, and reading so many books and teenage magazines, i can't help but wonder if i have begun to get the wrong idea of what being in love is like. the knight in shining armor who saves the wounded young girl, or the young boy and girl who are so in love and yet have to fight so hard in order to be with each other because outside forces try to pry them apart. and yet in the end, everyone lives happily ever after. but in reality, when does this happen? i know of no one who's ever had a love life like this. yet in my heart i still believe that if you believe it's true, then it could happen. after all, these stories and feelings and emotions just don't come out of no where, they come from somewhere deep inside of you, a place so vulnerable that you know it's real.
i'm not sure if i put too much thought into it, but i have so many things going through my head that maybe it would be better for myself and those who might come to read this, that i just type them. as said before, i don't believe i’ve ever been in love, after all, if you have to question it, then how is that real? but i can tell you that i’ve experienced heartbreak. being so infatuated with someone and making yourself so vulnerable to them, giving them everything you have, hoping to God that they catch you, and in the end, they don't. and you fall harder than you've ever fell before. and your heart breaks. to those who've never had their heart broken, i must say, are very lucky. and although they may think the thought of "your heart actually breaking" is absurd, it's true. the gut wrenching feeling you get, and you don't know whether to cry or scream. and you can't help but wonder how someone could unintentionally hurt you so bad.
you hurt, and you don't stop hurting. you go through stages of being upset and infuriated, you think of ways to get back at them but when it boils down to it, you can't tell someone else how to feel, like all of the romance novels and books say, your heart decides who it wants. and it just so happens that although your heart chose them, theirs didn't feel the same way. you listen to songs of heartbreak and watch movies, or try and find someone to fill the place in your heart that was so unwillingly ripped out. but nobody, or anything, can put back together that broken heart except you. you may find someone to help fill it for a while, but what is it they’re doing? trying to put back those pieces? and what happens if that person leaves?
when one's heart is broken, they need to repair it themselves. of course you still think about him, and you'll still get that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see him. the one that before the heartbreak made you light up inside and now makes you sick to your stomach, but you still in some strange way love it. no guy since him has been able to give you that feeling, but that's okay. after getting it, you don't want to settle for anything less. you turn away other options because of him; he sets standards for everyone after. you know that what he did, he didn't do intentionally. you know that he felt strongly about you, because you felt it. but something was in the way, some freak cosmic force got in the way of something that could have been great. and unlike the romance movies, it stopped you from being together. maybe it just wasn't the right time, maybe there never will be a right time. but they did teach you something, they taught you to not give yourself away so easily, maybe not in a sexual way, but in an emotional way.
i strongly believe that anybody who comes into a person’s life is there for a purpose. there for the heartbreak that he caused you is in whatever way, for a purpose. even if you don't want him in the way that you did before, he still has some part of you, and as much as you wouldn’t want to admit it, he probably always will. you gave him something that he couldn't give back even if he wanted to, because you give it away once, and only once, and you can't get it back. whether he wanted it or not, your heart chose him. for whatever reason, it did. you gave him everything you had, giving him the option to make or break you. and he broke you. after awhile you repaired yourself. maybe not fully, but it's been put back together with some pretty strong glue. except this time you put iron bars around it, with a double lock key, so the next time some knight in shining armor try's to unlock to your heart, he's going to have to fight for it.
there we go... and jose? it's not anymore one whole big paragraph=P
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