hey guys, here i am (again). . . i've got another problem, *sigh* should i wait for him? i mean really. . . should i? im not sure, im starting to think about what i said. . . that i'll wait for him, i really do, it's how long the wait, is what im afraid of. . . he says he "loves" me, and to me it's kinda unfair, cos he says it like as a friendly love, but when i say it, it does mean something. . . dammit! why does everything have to be so damn complicated?! im blaming nobody but myself for letting this happen, why can't i understand that what im doing is only hurting myself? oh and were meeting this saturday to watch a movie and stuff. . . were gonna make out! >:) LMAO! well. . . back to the prob. . . people ask me what i see in him, and fuck, i say "all the things that you can't" which is true really, he is amazing, he is sometimes sweet, but like at times when he wants to be? yeah something like that, and i don't know, there is something else, i just can't seem to figure it out, but damn, when i look at him, it's like i DO effin see it, that it's right in front of him, haha "i had to fall to finally see, that he was right in front of me" i just wanted to say that, so off topic but so what? anyway, where was i? oh yeah, i just wish that there will come a time that he'll realize what he's missing, but you see, im still here, now and forever, im not going anywhere, never will, this situation reminds me of some romantic book i read, EXACTLY like it, but in the end, they both ended up together, will that be my happy ending as well? will that happen to me? im not afraid of happy endings, hell no! but im afraid that my life won't work that way. . . *sigh* yeah that's all i can give for now. . . here are some >stuff<>


Now and Forever

My love for you will never end
It runs much deeper than just a friend
I long to feel your warm embrace
And to see a smile upon your face

A love so strong, a love so true
A love that i could only have for you
This heart that could never be broken
Is now, to you, laid wide open

It was a door with no key to be found
But like a true friend, you've stuck around
You unlocked that door that hid my love
You're like a gift from up above

So for now and forever, i vow to be true
There is no one io could love like you
So for now and forever, and then a bit more
This love we share is what i'll long for

for Now and Forever, till death do us part
for Now and Forever, you'll stay in my heart

<3

Blessing or Curse

Some would say a blessing,
Some would say a curse
Cupid in all his glory
Or the devil at his worst

Call it what you want
Think of it what you will
Make it a great nightmare
Or a stimulating thrill

So take the plunge
And see how it feels
Is it your blessing or curse
To fall head over heals

Will there be tears of heartache
Or tears resulting from joy
How will it make you feel
To fall in love with a boy

Will he be your blessing
Will he be your curse
Is he going to be the last
Or of many just the first

<3

I've spent a lifetime of wondering with my head on the ground,
Never knowing that you were nearest when i was feeling down,
Lost in a feeling that i try to understand,
When all i really needed was for you to take my hand.
Down the pages of my history echoed the ghost of long ago,
I understood it was something that i should really know,
It came to me and i think i should really know,
That all i really needed was for you to take my hand.
Through a thousand timeless shores, i could see you standing there,
I know i had to stop and think, for you i gently care,
But by then i was young to want to understand,
That all i really needed was for you to take my hand.

<3

We spoke of petty things, avoiding the uncomfortable truth, shielding our eyes from the penetrable light. i wish i had taken my eyes off myself long enough to memorize your face that night i was lost in my insecurities becoming one of the "birds and the bees". the stars shone bright, unheeded up above, i wish i had told you that you're the one i love. that night could have been beautiful, yet i was fretting about the rules. i was afraid that if i were to stop my jabbering, i might do the most uncomfortable thing. . . And Kiss You. i wish i hadn't been so afraid. afraid of what i might say or do. the Truth is I think I Love You.

hope you enjoyed them! <3